A lot of you know that I’ve been battling Synovial Cell Sarcoma this past year. As you can imagine, I’ve had times that feel like I’m on a non-stop roller coaster of emotions. But throughout this whole experience God’s faithfulness and peace have been so real to me. I’m not giving up on this fight and this short interview explains a bit more about what has happened.
The storms of 2012-2013 have been unlike any I’ve experienced before and I couldn’t have gotten through it without Jesus right by my side the entire journey. Honestly, I have come to know God’s faithfulness in a deeper way than ever before. When life happens—financial struggles, health problems, tragedies, loss of a loved one, the list is limitless—just knowing that God is always there with love, peace, courage and grace to walk you through it is so encouraging!
There is no doubt in my mind that God gave me the grace and strength needed for every moment that I didn’t think I could get through. He gave me favor and led me each step of the way from my first interactions with Doctors (never knew how much I appreciate them until now) and finding out I had Synovial Cell Sarcoma, to finding out my surgery would be done by one of the top Doctors in the U.S. who “just happened” to be in Oklahoma, and on through 37 radiation treatments, physical therapy, and diet changes. Despite not having medical insurance last year God has been faithful to provide.
When I finished my radiation treatments, my three brothers helped me to fulfill my dream of traveling to Ireland. Our goal was to celebrate LIFE and the fact that we are so blessed to have each other and to get to see more of the world. It was so inspiring to see such a beautiful country and meet some awesome people!
In the middle of December, 2012 we found that the cancer had spread to my lungs. The doctor said that chemotherapy would only have a 30-50% chance of slowing the cancer down, not curing it. Going through that ordeal would not have been a healing environment for me. These reasons helped me decide not to take chemo at this time.
More than anything, I wanted to make a decision that would be the best for building up my body and not tearing it down. My decision that has brought peace, is to keep as normal of a healthy lifestyle as possible for my sake and my family. The main thing is prayer and asking Jesus for complete healing. The other things I’m doing is cutting out all processed sugar, flours and processed foods along with doing some other natural things that build up my body’s natural defenses. God is helping me to live in the present and not borrow worry from the future. To say it hasn’t been hard would be a lie, emotions are extremely volatile. But Jesus Christ is my rock in the midst of this hurricane. If you’ve ever been through a tragedy or crisis, you know what I’m talking about.
If I could go back and tell myself what the hardest struggle was, it wouldn’t be cancer. It would be myself because I almost made it out to be even worse than it was. I was constantly having to deal with feelings of anxiety, fear, and all these things. If I would have only taken it one day at a time, only one minute at a time, one hour and put my complete trust in Christ. That is what I have learned to do and am learning to do each day.
Sometimes deadlines are great reminders of how short our time here on earth is anyway. However, I firmly believe that God is all about postponing “deadlines” too! As long as He gives me breath, I want to be shining brightly for Him and helping those who are hurting to experience the love He has for them. Going through this has made me realize more about who I am. This is the one life I get to live. The only thing that matters more than anything else is how I live it to glorify my Creator, Savior and King, Jesus Christ.
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