Terminal Cancer Wasn’t In My Plans

A lot of you know that I’ve been battling Synovial Cell Sarcoma this past year. As you can imagine, I’ve had times that feel like I’m on a non-stop roller coaster of emotions. But throughout this whole experience God’s faithfulness and peace have been so real to me. I’m not giving up on this fight and this short interview explains a bit more about what has happened.

Terminal Cancer Wasn’t In My Plans from SMITH PIXELS on Vimeo.

The storms of 2012-2013 have been unlike any I’ve experienced before and I couldn’t have gotten through it without Jesus right by my side the entire journey. Honestly, I have come to know God’s faithfulness in a deeper way than ever before. When life happens—financial struggles, health problems, tragedies, loss of a loved one, the list is limitless—just knowing that God is always there with love, peace, courage and grace to walk you through it is so encouraging!

There is no doubt in my mind that God gave me the grace and strength needed for every moment that I didn’t think I could get through. He gave me favor and led me each step of the way from my first interactions with Doctors (never knew how much I appreciate them until now) and finding out I had Synovial Cell Sarcoma, to finding out my surgery would be done by one of the top Doctors in the U.S. who “just happened” to be in Oklahoma, and on through 37 radiation treatments, physical therapy, and diet changes. Despite not having medical insurance last year God has been faithful to provide.

When I finished my radiation treatments, my three brothers helped me to fulfill my dream of traveling to Ireland. Our goal was to celebrate LIFE and the fact that we are so blessed to have each other and to get to see more of the world. It was so inspiring to see such a beautiful country and meet some awesome people!

In the middle of December, 2012 we found that the cancer had spread to my lungs. The doctor said that chemotherapy would only have a 30-50% chance of slowing the cancer down, not curing it. Going through that ordeal would not have been a healing environment for me. These reasons helped me decide not to take chemo at this time.

More than anything, I wanted to make a decision that would be the best for building up my body and not tearing it down. My decision that has brought peace, is to keep as normal of a healthy lifestyle as possible for my sake and my family. The main thing is prayer and asking Jesus for complete healing. The other things I’m doing is cutting out all processed sugar, flours and processed foods along with doing some other natural things that build up my body’s natural defenses. God is helping me to live in the present and not borrow worry from the future. To say it hasn’t been hard would be a lie, emotions are extremely volatile. But Jesus Christ is my rock in the midst of this hurricane. If you’ve ever been through a tragedy or crisis, you know what I’m talking about.

If I could go back and tell myself what the hardest struggle was, it wouldn’t be cancer. It would be myself because I almost made it out to be even worse than it was. I was constantly having to deal with feelings of anxiety, fear, and all these things. If I would have only taken it one day at a time, only one minute at a time, one hour and put my complete trust in Christ. That is what I have learned to do and am learning to do each day.

Sometimes deadlines are great reminders of how short our time here on earth is anyway. However, I firmly believe that God is all about postponing “deadlines” too! As long as He gives me breath, I want to be shining brightly for Him and helping those who are hurting to experience the love He has for them. Going through this has made me realize more about who I am. This is the one life I get to live. The only thing that matters more than anything else is how I live it to glorify my Creator, Savior and King, Jesus Christ.

Amazing Abby – A Legacy of Hope from SMITH PIXELS on Vimeo.

If you’d like to donate to Abigail Smith’s Fund click here (Paypal): http://bit.ly/U4nmlZ


  1. Pingback:little things {1-25} | all things bright and beautiful

  2. love you abby – i know we haven’t skyped or emailed or talked in a while, but i have prayed for you, every, single, day for the past 2 months.

  3. I am an avid follower of you…and your testimony is beyond beautiful and I know the Lord will use it! Thank you for being a shining light…you are in my prayers.

  4. Your optimism is inspiring, your outlook on life is beautiful, your strength is endearing, and fiery red hair reflects your toughness 🙂

  5. Abigail, as a fellow Oklahoma photographer I have followed your work for a couple of years. It is beautiful. But your heart is even more lovely. I am praying for you and would love to know if there is any other way I can help. May God bless and heal you!

  6. I think of you every day since I received word of your cancer.

    Pray daily for your healing and continued strength and peace.

    You are a bright star and I smile every time I think of you.

    I keep thinking of your simple comments, “no worries”, that you have said to me at some point in almost every conversation we have had. It seems a very fitting way to describe your sweet and gentle soul.

    I feel better knowing that you seem to have “no worries” knowing you are safe in God’s arms at all times, no matter where you are. Take care and get better.

    Our whole family sends you and your family loving thoughts and prayers daily.


  7. Thank you go sharing your beautiful heart and bravery. I am so glad you have such a string faith in The Lord and so many that love you to hold you up in this immense struggle. Saying a prayer and sending love to you!

  8. It is Christians like this that humble me the most! I spend so much time wondering what might happen in the future and are my plans going to be messed up? Will there be a change at my job, will ever get married, have kids, get to travel some day? I take my focus off of Christ and let the uncertainties of life keep me from living to the fullest the life He has given me. Thank you Lord for the here and now and guide my feeble attempts to glorify You in it!

  9. What an amazing young woman…daily trusting in her Lord for just what He has in store for her; taking captive her fears.

  10. Thank you for sharing your life with the world. You are an inspiration to us all. We are praying for you and all that you face. Our God will see you through and is bigger than anything you encounter. God bless you Abigail!

  11. What an incredible testimony you have to share with everyone around you. You heart is inspiring, Abigail. Covering you in prayers of healing and peace. 🙂

  12. Wow! what a great testimony. Our prayers are with you and your family, thank you for the reminders of what is important.

  13. Your story has touched my heart. I am so glad you have God in your life. I pray for you and hold you up to our awesome God and ask him to continue guiding you and walking with you during your journey. Hugs!

  14. we serve an amazing and powerful God who loves us and is a healing God! Sometimes that healing doesn’t come as we would like but it is perfect in Gods eyes! Emotional healing is as important as physical healing! What great strength you have and the love of God shines forth so brightly from you! I thank God for your testimony and faith! I will be praying for your healing as we are told that by His stripes we WERE healed! I ask God for this in Jesus Name! Amen!

  15. Abigail Smith Joe and Natalie Barlow showed me the video, very powerful. I was wondering I am good friiends with one of the leaders of the healing teams at Bethel Church in Redding Ca and they would be open to praying for you in a skype session. let me know if you are open to that and I can set that up..Also your brothers video work is amazing tell him I love his stuff.
    blessings on you Vince barlow vincent@barlowgirl.com.

  16. I Loved your story and your faith! I am 28 and I have been battleing since I was 26. I needed to hear this! Thank you! I have faith in your healing! I would love to talk with you more. pleae email me at rdalton0417@gmail.com. We are God’s Children and we can help each other! He has carried me through and shown me many miracles along my two year journey. I would love to share them wih you!

  17. Sending you many many kisses and prayers to you and your family! God is great and has a higher plan for all of us. xox

  18. Abigail, what an inspiration to watch your video. I had breast cancer in 2011 and my treatment included chemo, surgery, and 36 radiation treatments. I applaud your decision not to have chemo. From what you say about the chances of it even helping at all, I believe it would only tear your body down. I am still trying to heal my digestive tract and boost my immune system. Like you, I’ve given up processed foods. I promise to pray for you. My husband is the pastor at Charles and Norma’s church.

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  20. I just read your blog and watched your video concerning your cancer. Your trust in our Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ has touched the very depths of my inner being. I see His love permeating every part of you and your face glows with radiance and the assurance that you are resting in His almighty care. I am so touched by your witness and will pray for you as you continue the journey God has entrusted to you. May His love continue shining through you, that others will be drawn to His love and His saving grace.

    I see the same sweet spirit in your Aunt Norma who I work under at our church in Kansas. She told me about you and gave me your website. What a blessing she is to me.

  21. Wow, I am totally shocked and had no idea the battle that Abigail is enduring. I met Abigail several years ago on an airplane. She and her brother were traveling and sat in different parts of the airplane so they would have opportunity to witness to more people and I was lucky enough to have her sit by me. Being a former youth paster, I immediately was enthralled by her charisma and confidence. She shared with such joy of her family, home schooling, her photography business, and her Lord. We connected on Facebook and I’ve enjoyed seeing occasional pictures and happenings in her life but had no idea that this has been going on. As shown in the video, Abigail is absolutely an amazing individual and a true blessing.

  22. I randomly happened to find your photography site. I found myself at your blog after being amazed at your work. After seeing a few of your other posts first I was thinking that you seemed to be such a creative, vibrant artist. Then I read this one. And my jaw dropped. I noticed your statement of faith earlier, weaved around in your website and few comments on sessions and clients. I just want you to know that you are shining more brightly, in His name, than you can ever realize. You are a powerful witness in testimony. You took my breath away. I’d like to write something about you and share it with my clients and friends. I’d like them to come here and see what I see about you too. I will email you and ask your permission. Prayers and blessings to you! May you feel His hands lifting you and His love carrying you.

  23. Wow, what an incredible story! I can relate to you in a very specific way as I too struggle with a terminal illness. The faith that you’ve maintained during this entire experience is amazing and I will keep you, your family and everyone else involved in my thoughts and prayers.

    Stay strong! You’re an inspiration to us all.

  24. You’re an inspiration in so many ways. It is amazing to see so much love and support from family and friends. I pray comfort for you and your family during this time. Thank you for sharing.

  25. Abigail, your family has been an inspiration to me for as long as I have known them. You are every bit as inspiring! I admire your faith and agree with you in asking God for healing. Obviously, He is doing great things through You and what you have faced. I have seen so many times how God takes what we see as horrible and turns it into a blessing. His grace is sufficient to carry you when you are weak and shines through to others in your faith and willingness to share. God bless you with His peace and anointing for every step of your journey.

  26. This morning at 5:30am I woke up and started looking at Facebook. Well I came across your story, and immediately sensed the presence of God prompting me to pray for you. So I started your video and begin to listen to your story. I know this is kind of weird, but I laid my hand on the screen where your forehead was and prayed in faith that God would heal your body sister. I used to live in Duncan, was the Worship Pastor at a church in town for a few years. So I want you to know that every time you come across my thoughts from now on I will be praying and standing in faith that God would completely make you whole. I also will be praying He gives you strength as you walk this journey. Thanks for being such an inspiration of trust and faith. Also I love your photography work, it is amazing. Well blessings to you and your whole family.

  27. Abigail,
    As I read your story I cried and cried…I understand so much of what you were saying. I too was diagnosed with cancer in 2012- breast cancer- lobular, invasive, ductal, multifocal. I did not know if it was in my lymph nodes or not or what stage I was from March 1, 2012 till I had my bilateral mastectomy in June 2012. You are right that you need to live day by day and not look too far ahead. I too had learned early on that I didn’t have control over any of this, and although I didn’t understand fully why I was going through it, I knew that god was with me. He gave me the strength and courage to live each day and to take each minute by minute. I had the peace that surpassed all understanding. I was very fortunate that it was not in my lymph nodes and it was low grade….In Canada they would have given me chemo/chemo/radiation, but I had found out about a test for breast cancers that showed I did not need either. Through our trials, God does hold us in the palms of his hands. I grew the most in Christ through that journey. I can relate so much of what your saying. Hang in there girl! It is not over till God says it’s over, and the enemy would like you to believe it’s over, but god is big and you stand and claim your healing…Don’t ever give up on God for that miracle! James 1:1-3 was always my favorite in times of stress: Let it be an opportunity for great joy when trials and troubles come your way, because when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

  28. I just found your site and story. What an encouragement and inspiration you are. I first saw your photos and thought, what a strikingly beautiful girl. Then I read your story and saw your strong testimony and faith in Christ and was all the more moved. I am incredibly sorry for this unbelievably terrible trial you are all enduring. Your faith in Him through the most terrible days this life can offer is truly an inspiration. You will never know all the people who are impacted by and come to Christ because of your story. Thank you for sharing with the world. God bless you and your family.

  29. Your faith is so incredibly strong. You are such an inspiration to me to give all things to Christ. May God bless you and comfort you, and your loved ones right now. We are loving you and praying for you from Florida.

  30. Thank you for sharing your story. I pray that you will continue to shine brightly and glorify Christ in your exceptional way. I am 25 and going through some unexpected struggles as well. Those moments of overwhelming despair, and just crying and fighting to have faith–I am with you. I am very encouraged by you to keep running this race and trusting God for everything. It’s so hard. But He promises that it’ll all be worth it.

  31. Abigail, your story is so beautiful. Your faith is inspiring. I can’t pretend to understand what you are going through, but I think “_________ wasn’t in my plan” is a perfect way to describe the journey. The way you have chosen to truly LIVE is perfect. I promise I will live a little more fearlessly and with more faith because of your story.

  32. Dear Abigail,
    I feel so much hope after listening to your video. You are an overcomer by the blood of the Lamb and the word of your testimony. I am believing with you that as you cry unto the Lord in your trouble, He will save you out of your distress. He sent His Word and is healing you from the destruction of cancer. You no longer have terminal cancer- now you are claiming freedom from cancer because disease has no power over you. You have abundant life through His Word and it flows to every organ bringing healing and health. In Jesus’ name you forbid tumors to inhabit your lungs and the Life of God within you is dissolving the tumors and your health is being restored. Every cell that does not promote life in your body is cut off from its source- in Jesus’ name! Precious lovely gifted woman, I am believing with you for complete healing! His Word can not return void so whether you are healed here on earth or in heaven- God is being glorified through you!
    I follow your photography on Facebook …I think I found you through Rita Lloyd-Jone or maybe it was Reggie. Much love and prayers sweet daughter of the King!

  33. Hi Abby. I’ve been following your updates on Facebook for the last month or so. I just watched this video for the first time this morning. I just wanted to say that I can see Christ in you, and it is a beautiful thing. I have been struggling through health issues myself this past year, and I totally understand the anxiety and fear and depression that can come along with that. God has been teaching me so much through it all though, and I’m feeling His peace and presence more than ever. It’s just about keeping focused on that cross, which you seem to be doing by the wonderful grace of God. You are a beautiful inspiration. You are a picture of God’s strength. You’ve been in my prayers and thoughts. I know that God will use this suffering of yours for His glory and your good, and it will have an eternal impact! That’s the beautiful thing. Every struggle and trial we have as Christ-followers is for an eternal purpose. And that makes me so grateful. Dear sister, you are amazing. I pray that God’s peace would just flow down over and in you today.

  34. Abby and family…

    I just found out about all of this a few weeks ago and have been checking in on Facebook to get updates since then. I don’t have a facebook account, so I’m leaving you a message here. Abby, the last time I saw you was at the Josts’ concert in OKC in February…and when I think back to your glowing smile, I can’t believe you had already started this journey then. I wasn’t sure you would remember who I was, so I didn’t stop to say hi. Wish I had. Just watched your Thanksgiving video, and you still have that glowing, beautiful smile. You inspire me…to be faithful in whatever circumstance I find myself. You are doing just that…and look how God is using you. Wow.

    Praying that our Father will continue to pour out His grace, peace and strength for you all.

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